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I rarely go to the movies. Since I eventually see everything for free, it’s difficult to justify spending $10 on a movie ticket – and possibly another $50 on soda and popcorn – to view the Large version.

This week, I broke with tradition twice and forked over $20 for Avatar and Sherlock Holmes. Since this is a rare and momentous event, I would like to share with you my take on both movies.

- Avatar -

Do not go and see ‘Avatar’ in the theater for its trite and simplistic plot, for the banal and rehashed story, or for the C- performances phoned in by an overqualified cast.

Go and see it in the theater because it is the single most enthralling visual experience ever put on film.

James Cameron has come to deliver us to ocular Nirvana, and computer graphics light the way. But fear not! Gone are the days of Tron and The Last Startfighter, of clunky, blocky polygons with two-dimensional eye slits. Cameron’s world is every bit as volumetric and kinetic as ours; the motions, colors, sounds, and textures all seamless and polished, devoid of jagged edges or clumsy jerks that pull you out of the moment – and I was looking for them.

The story is nothing original: It is Dances With Aliens, Cowboys and Indians in Space, but in a way impossible to describe or imagine – with rendered models so fully realized that you’ll be wondering how they kept those flower-panther things from eating the camera crew.

In some movies, impressive special effects may give you pause as you think to yourself “boy, those are some impressive special effects.” In Avatar, the special effects are everything, everywhere, all the time. You will be unable to discern analog from digital, and you will not care. The experience is remarkable – your left brain is constantly reminding you that you are experiencing an illusion, but your right brain shamelessly runs off whooping, leaning into turns, and gnashing its teeth against the vertigo.

Ultimately, Avatar is a rousing success; so much so that I find it troubling. If Cameron can produce a movie this compelling, built around characters whose only human trait is vocal, the end of make-up and method acting is nigh.

- Sherlock Holmes -

In other news, Guy Ritchie – long thought dead – has been found alive and well in London.

Ritchie’s directing career has been a roller coaster, poor chap. His first two movies – ‘Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels’ and ‘Snatch’ – were arguably two of the greatest caper movies ever made, unique in style, theme, and character. Alas, Ritchie married Madonna and felt obliged to put her in a movie, ‘Swept Away’, which promptly stunk up the place. His next movie, ‘Revolver’, was just as bad, and was followed by ‘Rock N Rolla’, a scoop of vanilla at best.

I figured Ritchie for a one trick pony, an M Night Shyamalan, a director who was extremely talented but could only tell one story.

I was very wrong.

All of Ritchie’s tools and gadgets are used to full effect in his Holmesian interpretation: the frozen frames and feisty narration, the bleached colors and fidgeting cameras, and the Tarantinian abuse of linear time all converge to shove and yank you through the sights, sounds, and smells of an authentic and oddly modern late 1800’s London.

Ritchie’s characters are more edgy and dangerous than readers of Doyle will remember, but more from mischief than malfeasance. The immortal kinship of Watson and Holmes is animated to mirthful and touching success by Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr., and the contributions of Rachel McAdams are limited to the physical – although, I daresay, they are not unwelcome in a movie so full of grit, grime, and testosterone.

The story – a mystery, naturally – is engaging enough to mesmerize, and confounded enough to ignore, but the plot takes a back seat to the moment as the holy trifecta of Ritchie Downey and Law reach through the screen and drag you into their world.


All in all, both movies are worth your sawbuck. However, of the two, I would only consider a repeat performance of Holmes.

While Avatar was inarguably astounding, it will only astound once. Like stage magic, the second performance will leave you scanning for wires and secret panels.

Conversely, I get the feeling Sherlock and I will see each other again.